what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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