Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
