I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
