White coat. Heels.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it because I queefed?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
