He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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