sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
