There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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