mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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