wanna go halves on a baby?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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