What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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