She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
