You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
