You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My vagina is very pro this idea
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
