My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
