I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
