In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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