so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
