this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
