I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
