he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
