So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
