your room smells of hookers.
And success
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
