I just made out with a guy for $7.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
