Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i believe in u and ur pee
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
