elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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