arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
