seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
