no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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