Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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