I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
