I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
