i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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