Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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