if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
