they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
