Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize