The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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