No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
