she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
