She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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