Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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