I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This girl is more easily done than said...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
