so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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