ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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