Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
