I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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