I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
