He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
