Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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