I wish i was in the wii world.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
