You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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