your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
