the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
