READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
