Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
