i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
